The Constantly Rowing Professors
by scribbley
Summary: This oneshot's a prize for Izzy2257 for being my 350th reviewer of Of Snakes and Lions. Post-war, Severus and Hermione are teaching at Hogwarts- and spending a lot of time rowing! When it all gets too much, Draco and Minerva step in to bring their friends together. Some romance, but mostly friendship and rows. EWE. No flames please- this is just light-hearted fun.


**This oneshot's a prize for Izzy2257 for being my 350th reviewer of Of Snakes and Lions (which I'm hoping to update in summer once my exams are over- sorry for the wait!).**

 **Here's the prompt she gave me: _Hermione and Severus are both secret animagus (you pick the animals) they meet in animal form and become friends... I really enjoy when Draco and Hermione are friends, maybe he knows about both animal forms and intervenes in setting them up for more than friendship as animals._** _ **Maybes: hide and go seek in the forest, Draco is an animagus also, pre war or post war, you chose.**_

* * *

"... If that's all, then I'll call this week's staff meeting to a-"

"Not quite, Headmistress," Professor Severus Snape interrupted, seemingly oblivious to the sleepy yet hostile glares his colleagues were throwing his way, not least of which from the headmistress herself, Minerva McGonagall.

Minerva exhaled heavily and took a vicious swig of her tea. "Severus, it's eight o'clock in the bloody morning. It's a Sunday. This meeting has dragged on for nearly an hour and a half now: be quick."

The Potions professor's lip twitched upwards slightly at her scowl, but he soon regained his typically impassive expression.

"Certainly, Headmistress," he said with such obvious mockery that Minerva snorted at his impertinence. "I refer, of course, to the Gryffindors' blatant disregard for school rules, yet again-"

Severus paused as an angered huff came from his right side. Turning, he ignored the paling visage of Professor Draco Malfoy, his gaze alighting with delight upon a familiar dark brown glare.

"Professor Granger... something you'd like to add? It is your house that is besmirching the noble name of Godric Gryffindor, after all."

The Arithmancy professor tossed her hair at that, ignoring Draco's warning touch on her arm.

"I beg your pardon?"

Severus smiled widely at her. "Come now, Professor Granger, you can't pretend to be ignorant of your House's penchant for parties and slipping out to the kitchens after curfew?"

Hermione glowered.

"Of course not, but I hardly see why this is a matter for a staff meeting. I am the primary disciplinary for Gryffindor house so-"

"And what an excellent job you're making of disciplining your little hellcats," Severus purred. "Remind me how many points Gryffindor have lost being out of their beds after curfew?"

"Remind me how many of those points were taken by you?" Hermione snarled.

They were in each others' faces now, leaning over Draco as he sat poker-still, gazing beseechingly at the rest of the staff to rescue him. No one did. They all knew what happened if you got in the middle of one of the Potions and Arithmancy professors' fights: nothing good.

.

There was a lull as the two professors simply stared at each other, black eyes sparking on brown, brown sparking on black. Minerva had almost relaxed into her normal posture when Hermione asked conversationally, "Shall we discuss your Slytherins' evident indifference to school rules on attacking other students, Professor Snape?"

Draco closed his eyes and attempted to sink even lower in his seat as Severus' magic crackled in the air around them.

"Excuse me?"

"I refer to Misters Boyle and Crewe cursing Miss Oliver whilst her back was turned for being a, quote, 'Mudlood slut'," Hermione elaborated, her smile challenging.

Severus stiffened. "I was unaware-"

.

"Thank you, Professors," Minerva interrupted quickly, before the row could worsen again. "That's all for this week... Draco? A word?"

The Charms professor's pointed face and white blond hair came into view as Professors Snape and Granger slowly moved back and away from each other.

"See you later, Draco."

"Good bye, Draco."

No farewell for each other. Draco nodded awkwardly at both, and rose to follow the Headmistress. She didn't greet him personally, and barely waited until they were alone to say, "We've got to do something."

"Yes," Draco agreed fervently. "I'm rather tired of being in the middle of them sparring."

Minerva continued as though he hadn't spoken. "I mean, they nearly tear each others' faces off every staff meeting; they don't talk to each other at dinner or in the staffroom; they don't even use each other's given names..."

"Well, they were teacher and student, perhaps they find it hard?" Draco suggested weakly.

She gave him a withering look. "He was your teacher too."

"Yes, but I'm his godson," Draco pointed out. At her glower his smugness faded and his face paled. "But good point!"

She huffed, now almost stomping into her office. She gestured for him to take a seat with forced manners, and then continued her rant, pacing her office and ignoring the obviously eavesdropping portraits of her predecessors.

"I just don't see the issue! I mean you and Hermione hated each other in school, and now you're best friends! I know you did your apprenticeships at the same time, but even so! You both made an effort to put the past behind you- why can't Hermione and Severus? It's been seven years since the War! They seem to enjoy putting each other down- they hate each other-"

"Er, no, they don't."

The Headmistress came to an abrupt halt at his words, gaping unattractively at her youngest member of staff. Draco was grinning.

"Are you kidding? They're head over heels for each other," he snorted. "It's obvious- for those of us that appreciate subtlety, i.e. not Gryffindors," he jibed.

Minerva stared at him and flumped down into her seat.

"Are you mad?"

Draco smiled widely. "No. Watch them. Seriously. You'll just want to bang their heads together. There's so much sexual tension there, I'm amazed they haven't combusted."

And with that, he was gone, leaving Minerva McGonagall speechless for perhaps the first time in her life.

* * *

Curiosity killed the cat, but I hope it won't kill me, Minerva thought grimly as she stode into the staff room several hours later. Using her marking as an excuse (she was one of very few Heads of school to continue teaching, since she had yet to find a replacement Transfiguration professor), she plonked herself down in a cosy armchair in the corner of the room and waited. She didn't have to wait long. As was routine, Hermione arrived in the room at one o'clock with a dozen rolls of parchment- her lesson plans for the next week. She greeted her old Head of House with a smile, and settled down in her usual place by the fire to review her plans and draft exercises for her students to complete in class.

.

Scarcely ten minutes later, a swirl of black robes settled in the leather armchair opposite the door, and swiftly disappeared behind a mountain of essays. Minerva listened to the snarled scratching of feedback that would surely bring more than one first year to tears in the following week. After a while, she slyly cast a glance over her own pile of marking, expecting to see nothing but two hard working professors. The next minute she was stifling a gasp. She gawped.

.

Severus Snape, feared Dungeon Bat and general git, was watching Hermione Granger with the softest eyes she had ever seen on a man. Minerva had never seen such warm intensity; it was as though Severus was drinking in the soft brown curled hair and furrowed brow, the slim fingers guiding the quill, the delicate curve of Hermione's jaw. She was almost envious. Imagine having such love directed at you, and to be unaware of it!- But was Hermione unaware of it? she thought abruptly, turning her concentration to the young witch. Yes, she concluded, saddening on Severus' behalf—but what was this? Hermione's dark eyes were peeking up from her lesson plan, shyly observing the wizard in her line of sight. Severus had turned back to his papers, snarling at some inane comment scrawled by a student, unaware that he was the focus of someone's attention. Minerva watched as Hermione's gaze followed the movement of Severus' pale wrist, curving a hanging strand of dark hair behind his ear. Hermione was blushing, Minerva realised with fascination, watching the witch's keen eyes skating over the harsh nose and cheekbones of the man with whom she had rowed with publically just hours ago. Watching Hermione watching Severus, Minerva could almost find him attractive herself.

* * *

It was like a light had turned on in Minerva's head. Now she had seen proof that her sparring professors were, as Draco had said, head over heels for each other, it was impossible to unsee it. How had she not seen it before? How could none of the other members of staff see it?

"Why are they always spatting?" she burst out.

Draco eyed her apprehensively, halfway into her office.

"Is this what you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Yes, no, maybe. I don't know. Sit."

He sat, accepting a steaming mug of tea and exhaling heavily. It was the following Sunday and they had just witnessed Severus and Hermione's most furious row. All over who was to chaperone the dreaded Valentine's Day Hogsmeade visit (the pair of them, as punishment, Minerva had decreed, much to the amusement of the rest of their colleagues).

"That," Minerva said, "was ridiculous."

Draco couldn't disagree. It had been like watching two teenagers arguing, but Severus and Hermione weren't teenagers. They were adults; teachers; respected individuals in the wizarding community; veterans of the Second Wizarding War; they had Order of Merlins. Minerva was right: their behaviour was absurd. There was a pause.

"I can't say I'm not delighted at having the Valentine's Hogsmeade weekend sorted before we've even left for Christmas, but even so... Ridiculous." Minerva shook her head. "I'm think you're right that they've got the hots for each other."

Draco choked on a scalding mouthful of tea. "I- I don't believe I phrased it like that."

Minerva waved a dismissive hand, continuing irately, "I just don't understand why they're always. Sodding. Rowing."

She took a large swig of tea.

"The sexual tension's too much," Draco said, raising his eyebrows innocently when she spluttered and nearly spat out her drink. "Did it go down the wrong hole?"

Minerva cleared her throat and glared with watery eyes. "Behave."

Draco smiled unrepentantly. "I was only half joking. I bet you any money you like they don't think their... feelings are returned and are bitter about it. Plus, they're both stubborn know-it-alls, so they'd probably spat anyway."

"Probably," Minerva agreed wryly, then seriously, "You have to sort this out, Draco."

He stared. "Why me?"

"Because you're Hermione's friend. And Severus'. Can't you talk to them?"

He eyed her incredulously. "You must be joking. Do you think I have a death wish?"

Dropping any act, Minerva offered him a sweet smile. "If you don't, the sexual tension might get too much and seeing as you're usually sat in between them whenever they're together... I think you've got a reasonable incentive to sort things out before then."

Draco gaped, slamming his teacup into its saucer in shock. "That was the most Slytherin thing I ever heard."

* * *

Impressed though he was with the Headmistress' snake-like manipulation of him, Draco spent the next few days sulking over his impossible task. Minerva's logic was infalliable: there was no way he wanted to be anywhere near Hermione and Severus when the tension eventually became too much. Even so, he thought she could at least offer to help him. Matchmaking was not his forte.

.

On Wednesday, Draco looked at his staff planner and realised with horror that it was three days until the next staff meeting, and that unless he wanted to risk being in the middle of another row... or worse, he'd better figure something out- quickly.

"Walk, Hermione?" He asked pleasantly, as they finished up their dinners on Thursday.

She turned her gaze distractedly from Severus and smiled. "That'd be nice, let me grab my cloak."

He waited with a thudding heart in the Entrance Hall, and, when she arrived (wrapped up in a cloak and bold Gryffindor scarf), scarcely managed to wait until they had walked outside before talking.

"How's things?"

"Good, good..."

"Got any plans for Christmas break?" Draco asked casually, his eyes glued to the path before him. "Visiting anyone special?"

Hermione blushed faintly, scuffing her toes on the path as she walked.

"Er. No."

Her discomfort was evident, yet, even though he himself was uncomfortable, Draco was determined to push the topic. As Minerva had no doubt intended, the prospect of another staff meeting sat in between Hermione and Severus was an excellent incentive for him.

"No New Year's kisses?" he tried, aiming for a teasing tone. Friends though they were- and had been for a few years now- he wasn't sure they were on discussing love lives level.

Hermione's lips pressed together. "Nope." Her voice was flat.

"Really?"

Coming to an abrupt halt on the frosted path, Hermione turned to her friend with an icy glare. Draco swallowed. He had hoped his Gryffindor-ish lack of subtlety would prompt Hermione to confide in him about Severus, but suspicions were beginning to arise in the back of his mind that this had been a huge error.

"Draco, I know you're not interested in me so I can't imagine why my love life is suddenly all you want to talk about."

He squirmed under her scrutiny, wishing desperately that he could backtrack. "Just wondered... as a friend... if there was anyone..."

"No," she snapped, turning away from him and beginning to stomp back up the path to the castle, her arms crossed.

He steeled himself, cursing Minerva to Hades and vowing that he would think of a way of getting revenge the second he returned to his quarters.

"Not... Severus... perhaps?" he suggested weakly.

"What?"

She whirled on him, her expression momentarily horrorstruck. Draco stared at her reddening face, feeling almost guilty- until he remembered her leaning over him to snarl at Severus in the last staff meeting.

"Severus Snape?" he asked, attempting to regain his cool. "Potions Professor? Yay high, grumpy git-"

"Don't be smart," Hermione interrupted irritably. "And no. Obviously. Anyway, he hates me."

"I'm pretty sure he doesn't."

She exhaled heavily. "I'm pretty sure you're wrong- but I don't really care, because I am _not_ interested."

Draco watched her avert her eyes, fidgeting visibly.

"Right," he said in a deliberately unconvinced tone. "Are you sure?"

"Positive!" she snapped, turning her back. "Excuse me, Draco. I'm late for an Animagus lesson with Minerva."

Observing the dramatic way his friend flounced off, Draco scarcely suppressed a snort. Gryffindors. Bloody incapable of hiding anything. He set off at a slower pace behind Hermione, heading to the dungeons. He rather suspected his next conversation would be more difficult to interpret.

* * *

"Enter."

Draco followed Severus' command blindly, still not entirely immune to his godfather and old Head of House's authority. Entering Severus' chambers, his eyes alighted upon the man he was seeking, half-hidden in the shadows, sat reading in a high-backed armchair.

"What're you reading?"

"Book on Animagi," Severus answered vaguely, carefully placing a bookmark and setting his text aside. "I'm learning to become an Animagus. A challenge... mid-life crisis, if you like." His lip curled up in self-mockery.

Draco sat down in a spare armchair, his mind racing. A plan was already beginning to form in his mind, but first...

"Looking forward to chaperoning the Valentine's Hogsmeade trip next term?" he asked, aiming for sarcasm but not quite pulling it off in his excitement.

His godfather gave him an odd look. "Ecstatic. I assume your next question is whether this trip is interrupting anything more interesting?"

"What? No!" Draco spluttered, caught off-guard.

Severus raised one eyebrow. "Well, you've never been one for small talk so there must be some reason you're attempting to interfere in my private life... Merlin, your mother hasn't set me up on some ridiculous Valentine's blind date again, has she?"

"Not that I'm aware of, though it's months away so she- wait, again?"

Severus ignored him. Draco gnawed his lip. He'd never talked about women with his godfather: he had absolutely no idea how to broach the subject of Hermione.

"What is it, Draco?" Severus asked finally. "You've obviously got something on your mind. I can't imagine what, if it's related to how I'm spending Valentine's Day, but..."

"Do you like Hermione?" Draco burst out, feeling embarrassingly Gryffindorish with his lack of subtlety.

If he was unsubtle, though, Severus was positively screaming his thoughts. His eyes were wide; his cheeks rosy.

"What?"

Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, Draco forced himself to repeat (more levelly this time): "Do you like Hermione?" He paused. "Like like her," he added for clarification, feeling about 13 years old.

"Don't be ridiculous," Severus said unconvincingly. His expression was becoming more neutral, but the concentration in his eyes suggested this was due to serious efforts at Occlumency rather than him actually being calm. "Besides, Professor Granger can't stand me."

Draco smirked. "Pretty sure that's not true, but whatever. You can't carry on calling her Professor Granger. Why not Hermione?"

Colouring, his godfather shrugged. "She's never asked me to use her given name."

"Well, everyone else does, so you may as well," Draco pointed out.

Severus' expression was stony, and Draco couldn't work out the courage to press the issue. He sighed. "Fine. Tell me about becoming an Animagus."

It wasn't the most subtle change of topic in the world, and it was a mark of how much Severus wanted to leave their current conversation on Hermione that he didn't comment on his godson's lack of subtlety. He launched enthusiastically into a discussion on his reading, which Draco listened to with half-concentration. How on earth was he going to get Severus and Hermione together by the meeting?

* * *

He didn't, and consequentially endured Severus and Hermione's worst argument yet- this time on who was undermining whose authority more with regards to the discipline of students in Gryffindor and Slytherin.

"They get worse and worse," Draco observed to Minerva after the meeting, accepting the offered cup of tea with a polite incline of his head. "Every time I think they can't have a row more- more explosive than the last, and every single sodding time they manage it. If they weren't so bloody convincing, I'd be suspicious that they did it just to give me palpitations-"

"How about you start thinking of a solution then, instead of wasting your time on fancy words like palpitations?"

Having had to magically conjure a barrier between her warring employees for the best part of twenty minutes in the meeting, an exhausted Minerva was particularly irate. Sympathetic though he was, Draco's patience was running thin.

"You know," he sniped, "you're as capable as I am of thinking of a solution. So, if you have any, now's the time, because you're not the only one getting sick of getting caught up in their pathetic game of arguing purely because they think their feelings are unrequited. Merlin's beard, if they opened their eyes-!"

.

Snorting, Minerva settled back into her chair, her posture finally beginning to unstiffen as her tension faded. Arching her brows at the student she had disliked so immensely as a boy, she pondered how fond she had become of him as a man. Ever since he had joined her staff, Draco had displayed a dryness that was odd in one so young but which was similar enough to her own sense of humour that they had actually become quite close after talking as equals and as adults. Moreover, they had come to share another key similarity: an intense loyalty to both Severus and Hermione that Minerva was quite sure both individuals were completely unaware of.

.

"We have to do something, for their sakes as much as our own," she said finally. "They must be feeling quite wretched, poor things."

"My heart bleeds," Draco said sarcastically.

Minerva smiled minutely at the comment, and elaborated. "Be fair, Draco. They think their feelings are unreturned and quite probably that the other hates them- I'd imagine they're both fairly miserable at the moment. Of course, they won't say anything- at least, they haven't to me. You?"

Shrugging, Draco takes a sip of his tea, pondering his conversations of the last week with both Severus and Hermione. "Nothing about being miserable. Though, in hindsight, I suppose that would explain why Hermione's been so grouchy recently- and I heard some of the fifth-years complaining about how much of a git Severus has been in lessons. He always did take out his moods on students. Git," he added for good measure.

Smiling, Minerva raised her eyebrows. "Some things never change, Draco. He's always been a git, but Severus always gets excellent marks- always has done, so being a git must work as a teaching method! Besides, from what I remember, you never had to put up with Severus at his most gittish, did you?"

.

Inclining his head with a wry smile, Draco acknowledged her point. Steepling his fingers together, he cocked a brow at the woman he now saw as a friend, rather than a stern professor.

"You'll never guess what foolish Gryffindor behaviour I exhibited last week."

Minerva rolled her eyes.

" _Exhibited_. You talk like you've swallowed a dictionary at times, Draco. Go on."

"I can't help it; it's the first-class tutor I had as a child. I had no chance," he replied with a hint of smugness. "Well, Minerva, you're not going to believe the lack of subtlety from a member of the noble House of Slytherin... but I asked both Severus and Hermione outright if they were interested in each other."

There was a clatter as Minerva slammed her teacup back in its saucer, before the cup toppled over from her force, spilling amber liquid all over her paperwork.

"Shit! Evanesco!"

Placing the now empty teacup back more gently this time, Minerva gawped at her employee.

"You're joking. You're still alive, so you must be."

Snorting, Draco shook his head.

"Surprisingly, no. I did ask, and I survived to tell the tale."

Minerva leaned forward eagerly. "And?"

He rolled his eyes. "And they both denied it, not especially convincingly it has to be said. Hermione flounced up to the castle, and Severus changed the subject- and I knew better than to push the subject, else I really would be dead right now."

He shrugged. "I did suggest to them that the other might be interested, so maybe they'll make a move of their own accords... but other than that I don't know what I can do."

Minerva sighed. "Yes, but that's no use, you see, because if they keep sniping at each other they'll just reinforce each other's belief that they dislike them- and then they'll never make a move. Plus, do you honestly think that either of them will make a move?"

Defeated, Draco shook his head. "No, not especially. I mean, short of shoving them in a broom cupboard and not letting them out until they've kissed and made up, I can't think of anythi- wait."

Hopeful, Minerva glanced up at him. Draco was leaning back in his chair, his fingers steepled as he thought.

"Maybe..." he murmured to himself, then to Minerva: "You're giving Hermione lessons in how to become an Animagus, right?"

Her eyebrows knitting in confusion, Minerva replied, "I was. But we finished up the other day, since Hermione's made the transformation several times now so I felt I had nothing else to teach her. She's an owl, which quite amused her- she made a joke about not being able to get rid of her reputation as the brightest witch of her age even in Animagus form. I didn't really understand her, to be quite honest, but apparently the muggle Greek goddess of wisdom Athena is represented by an owl... Anyway, she'll be registered at the Ministry sometime this weekend, I think. What's the relevance?"

Draco didn't immediately reply. His lips were pressed together as he wracked his brain for a solution, drumming his knuckles on the edge of Minerva's desk. Finally, he exhaled heavily and nodded to himself. Lifting his gaze to Minerva's, he began to explain.

"Severus is learning to become an Animagus. Well, actually, he's pretty much achieved it from what he said- he's a falcon. A peregrine falcon, specifically, if you're into birds."

Minerva shrugged. "I'm not surprised. Voldemort taught him to fly quite easily, from what Severus told me; I suspect transforming into a bird came relatively naturally." She smiled wryly. "Now I know he can become a bird of prey I'll be keeping on his good side. And Hermione's, actually. But, Draco, how does any of this help us?"

Grinning, Draco said, "I think it's time our lovestruck birds of prey met each other in Animagus, rather than human, form."

He heard her soft sigh of understanding as she settled back into her chair. Minerva nodded slowly.

"That could work. But how are we going to arrange that?"

Draco slumped back in his chair.

"I don't know." he said. "But I'll wrack my brains and get back to you. We need to think of something quickly before they end up killing each other."

* * *

A few weeks- and several rows between Severus and Hermione- passed. Neither Draco nor Minerva had had any inspiration on how to get their rowing friends to meet in Animagus form. Then, one morning, with absolutely no subtlety whatsoever, Minerva leant over her porridge to wink at Draco.

"Come to my office after breakfast," she mouthed.

He could hardly wait until breakfast was over. Finally! A Solution! He wouldn't have to sit in between his warring best friend and godfather and fear for his life anymore!

.

"What're you beaming at?"

Draco turned to see Hermione staring at him suspiciously through narrowed eyes. He realised with a start that he was smiling into his pancakes, and that the students closest to the professors' table were beginning to nudge each other and point at him. Sending a glower that would have made Severus proud in their direction, Draco shook his hair out of his eyes and adopted a more neutral expression.

"Just thinking that it's beautiful weather for the Slytherin Quidditch team to kick your Gryffindors' asses in the match today."

Hermione glanced at the Great Hall's enchanted ceiling, her gaze falling from the black storm clouds to her best friend's smirk.

"Draco, it's raining. I'm pretty sure I can hear thunder."

Shrugging, Draco picked up his knife and fork and began tucking into his pancakes with gusto.

"Yeah," he agreed. "Isn't it nice to know the rain'll conceal your Gryffindors' tears when they lose?"

Hermione scowled at him. Since becoming Head of Gryffindor she had become quite enthusiastic about the House Cup, if only as a method of maintaining her House's high spirits.

"Aren't you supposed to be neutral, Professor Malfoy?"

He snorted. "I'm pretty sure you are too."

She grinned at him. "Yeah, but Minerva never set a good example on that front, did she?"

Draco laughed. "Severus has always been pretty bad at the whole neutrality too, to be fair."

Her expression darkening, Hermione bit into her toast aggressively and didn't answer. Draco sighed.

"You know," he said lightly, with his gaze firmly on his now empty plate, "you'd be more convincing if you didn't tense up when people mention his name."

He felt Hermione's arm stiffen next to his.

"Shut up, Draco."

He sighed exaggeratedly, not wanting to start a row.

"Alright." He adopted a more teasing tone. "I guess you can't help being a Gryffindor and having no subtlety whatsoever."

Hermione laughed unconvincingly. Draco stuck his tongue out at her.

"I can take a hint. I'm shutting up."

She scowled at him, but her eyes were mischievous as she fingered her wand pointedly.

"You better."

* * *

The second he was alone after breakfast, Draco hurried to Minerva's office. She was sat expectantly facing the door when he entered, and as he approached her desk she wordlessly handed him a scrap of paper. Perplexed, Draco glanced at the dense text, recognising the font and formatting as being from the _Witch Weekly_ magazines his mother read occasionally.

"Why are you handing me this rag?"

Minerva rolled her eyes. "Turn it over."

He did, finding on the other side a colourful advertisement for R.A.S..

"R.A.S.?"

"Royal Animagus Society," Minerva informed him impatiently. "Read on."

.

 _R.A.S. would like to announce a new event:_

 _A fun game of hide and seek intended for new members to forge friendships in animal form without prejudice._

 _Attendees do not need to sign up for this event, just turn up in Animagus form on the day!_

 _Date: 14th December_

 _Time: 10 am_

 _Location: Dark Forest, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry_

.

"What do you think?" Minerva asked eagerly.

Draco gave her a shrewd look. "I think it's perfect and very convenient- a little bit _too_ convenient, actually."

She flushed at his arched brow, explaining in a flustered manner that, "I'm on the R.A.S. committee."

Though he'd guessed as much, at her admission Draco burst out laughing. "You really must be desperate to get them together if you're willing to engineer a whole event for them!"

She scowled at him. "Better than _asking them outright_."

He shut up.

.

It was agreed that Draco would persuade Hermione to go to the event, and then tackle Severus, who would undoubtedly be less enthusiastic. Draco decided to present the idea much like Minerva had: in advertisement form. He simply told Hermione and Severus separately that he had seen something that might interest them and waited for a yes and a no respectively. To Draco's surprise, however, Severus, like Hermione, agreed to go quite readily, pointing out that it seemed foolish _not_ to when the event was being held in Hogwarts' own grounds. He wondered if either would have agreed to come if they had known the other was coming, and hoped to Merlin that neither found out the other would be there until the day.

* * *

The day of the event arrived and Hermione rolled out of bed quite excitedly. She was quite looking forward to a day of meeting people in owl form rather than 'Hermione Granger Brightest Witch of her Age and member of the Golden Trio' form. She had already grilled Minerva, knowing that she was on the Royal Animagus Society committee, about the event, but the older witch had been annoyingly vague except to say she thought Hermione would have a great time. Hermione hoped so, and thought miserably that it was a shame Severus Snape wasn't an Animagus as far as she knew because... well, it wouldn't happen anyway, she sighed.

.

Meanwhile, in the dungeons Severus too was preparing for a day of meeting people who wouldn't see him as the Dungeon Bat, or the Git, or the Traitor, or the War Hero, or the Death Eater... the list went on. There were a thousand things that ran through most people's minds as he spoke to them, and they usually didn't facilitate friendship or at the very least getting to know him properly. To be perfectly honest, he was so used to it now that it scarcely bothered him... except when he saw it in one pair of eyes in particular. _If only she could meet him in animal form, without prejudice_... he shook his head. Severus wasn't a lucky enough man for that to happen.

* * *

Spotting an unlikely gathering of animals beside the Forbidden Forest, Hermione came swooping down to land in owl form. It had taken her a few practice flights, but she was finally gaining some grace to her landings. Noticing a falcon turning towards her, Hermione inclined her head in greeting. The falcon- she suspected it was male from the size-jerked his head towards her in an tight movement that was oddly familiar. Hermione turned her gaze to the other Animagi: cats, dogs, smaller mammals like rabbits, larger mammals like deer and horses; snakes and lizards; ducks; a single swan... Her observations were interrupted by a familiar coughed clearing of the throat. One of the cats had transformed into Minerva. She stood before the crowd of Animagi looking oddly smug- though Hermione supposed the event had already been quite a success by the sheer number of creatures present. Apparently the idea of socialising without being prejudged by your appearance was quite popular. She wondered how many of the Animagi were ex-Aurors or ex-members of the Order of the Phoenix or minor members of the Death Eaters, all undoubtedly tired of being stained with their past- much like she was.

.

"Thank you, everyone, for coming," Minerva said loudly, silencing the animals with the effectiveness that only years of teaching can bring. "First, can I say how delighted I am that so many of you are here."

Disguised in his falcon form, Severus twisted round to see past the owl on his right. To his surprise, there were quite a number of Animagi gathered. As Minerva explained that those on her left (including himself and the owl) would be the seekers, while those on the right would be hiders, Severus lost himself in observing the different animals on display. To his distaste, there were a number of rats sat on the grass. They were relatively cute and well-groomed creatures, but he couldn't shake the image of Pettigrew transforming into a rodent at the end of a Death Eater meeting and scurrying away.

"... There is a prize for those seekers that find the most Animagi," Minerva continued. "And one for the hiders that manage to remain hidden. I would suggest seekers pairing up, as it'll make your job easier. Hiders, you may want to pair up as well- this event is a social event after all!"

At the word "pair", Severus dragged his gaze from the rats with a shudder. By the looks of things, he and the owl beside him were the only creatures there capable of flight so he supposed they should pair up. He turned back to the owl. It was a beautiful bird, although quite slight, which he presumed meant it was female. Noticing his stare, the owl turned her huge eyes to his. Severus arched his brow at her, meaning _shall we?_ He hoped the expression was conveyed adequately on a hawk's face. Evidently it was, for the owl gave a cheery hoot that was oddly endearing.

.

Trying not to look too pleased that Severus and Hermione had managed to pair up with each other unawares, Minerva cast a spell over the seekers to temporarily deafen and blind them so the hiders could scamper into the forest and conceal themselves. When they had had sufficient time to hide, she released the seekers from the spells. She was glad the R.A.S. committee had agreed to let her run the event, since it had been her idea- all the better to observe Severus and Hermione. She turned her gaze back to the seekers.

"On your marks... get set... go!"

As the other seekers raced into the forest on foot, hoof and paw, the owl and the falcon soared into the sky.

* * *

They were quite a good team, Hermione thought, turning her gaze to the south of the forest as the falcon peeled away from her to land on a beaver's shoulder several feet below them. As the falcon's talons tapped gently on his shoulder, the beaver transformed into a middle-aged man with a chestnut-coloured moustache.

"Dammit," the wizard said, using his wand to transfigure a fallen branch nearby into a broomstick. "I suppose I'd better go and sit with the others that have been found. D'you have any idea which way it is out of the forest?"

Severus raised his left wing in the direction of Hagrid's cabin. The hiders that had been found were settling down on picnic blankets there and getting to know one another. There were quite a few the last time he and the owl had flown nearby.

"Thanks," the wizard said, clambering onto the broomstick. He opened his mouth again but was interrupted by loud hooting.

Without a second glance for the Animagus he had just found peeking out of the hollow log he was hiding in, Severus kicked off the ground and flapped his wings furiously to rise above the tree tops. He found his partner flying in loop-de-loops, hooting excitedly. Severus wasn't prone to using words like "adorable" or "cute", but he conceded to himself that this owl was quite sweet. She was gesturing wildly with her wing towards the south of the forest, where a fountain of red sparks were hovering mid-air over Hagrid's cabin, signalling that the game was over. It seemed she was as new to flying as he was, for every time her wing jabbed towards the sparks, she lost about 3 foot in height and had to flap her wings madly to regain her position. Smiling, Severus jerked his head in the direction she was pointing, and they began to fly towards Hagrid's cabin.

.

There was quite a crowd sat outside on the picnic blankets, huddled in little groups chattering and drinking the tea the Hogwarts house-elves had provided. A number of the Animagi were famous from both sides of the war, although those from the Dark side must have had relatively minor roles to escape Azkaban or to have been released already. The owl and the falcon came to rest a little way away, smiling at each other- as well as birds can.

"Alright," Minerva called, noticing their arrival. "We'll be announcing the winners soon, so if those that are still in Animagus form would like to transform..."

There was a pause, then:

" _You_?"

"You?"

Severus and Hermione stood, dumbfounded, facing each other. Hermione was speechless, staring at the man she had rowed with so frequently since taking a job at Hogwarts, the man that she loved and who hated her, who was apparently the falcon that she had teamed up with for the game of hide and seek- whom she had enjoyed pairing up with.

"You're an Animagus?" Severus said stupidly.

The witch he loved smiled amusedly. "I think I demonstrated that, Professor Snape."

"Q-quite," he stammered. "I didn't know you had learnt to transform, Professor Granger."

"Hermione," she said, a blush rising to her cheeks immediately. "Have you been an Animagus long, Professor Snape?"

"Severus," he corrected her. "And no, just recently actually." He shrugged uncomfortably. "I suppose we didn't have chance to mention it in between rows."

Hermione looked sheepish. "No," she agreed. "I suppose not."

Thinking of the smiles Hermione had thrown his way in owl form during the game, Severus mustered all his courage. "If you would like- I, well, I would like the start over. If you want."

Severus was horribly uncomfortable, and Hermione too was awkward. She managed a mischievous smile. "Alright. Well, my name's Hermione. What's yours?"

If he hadn't felt so self-conscious, Severus would have scoffed at her, but as it was he smirked and replied, "Severus. It's nice to meet you, Hermione."

She blushed. "Erm, there's not much tea leftover by the looks of things, so would you like to come with me to my quarters and get a cup of tea there perhaps?"

She had rushed the question, but Severus seemed to understand and nodded. Without a word, the two of them rose to their feet and slipped away unnoticed back to the castle.

.

"We're going to announce our winners," Minerva called, hushing the crowd of Animagi. "They are Severus Snape and Hermione Granger. Severus and Hermione?"

She glanced round wildly. The winners were nowhere to be seen.

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it, it's just a fun little piece! Looking forward to writing some more Of Snakes and Lions soon :)**


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